Fight or Flight II

Beast Boy was once again pacing, he didn't know why he did this, it probably was due to animal instincts. Not that he cared. He could feel his blood boil, his skin was hot with frustration. How could Robin say those things to him? He was not a child, he saved a life tonight, could a child do that? No. He hated being called a child, he hated when people poked at his maturity level, he has done so may astounding things in his life. Why did people only focus on his immaturity? Beast Boy then turned and punched his wall, there was now a fist size hole in the plaster.

There was a knock at his door. He knew it must be Cyborg here to calm him down, but he didn't want to calm down, he couldn't he was completely engulfed in his rage. He ignored the first knock in hopes that Cyborg would just go away. To his disgust the second knock came, he decided to answer the door even against his best judgment. He opened the door with force, there in front of him was Raven, not Cyborg. 'Ugh, even worse.' He thought to himself. He did not want to hear it from her.

"What?" He hissed at her.

"I need to come in." She said as she pushed her way past him. Just like her, forceful and rude. He rolled his eyes and shut the door behind her. She made her way to his bed and sat on the bottom bunk.

"What do you want Raven. Come here to rub tonight in my face?" He turned and faced her, he could feel his face get how just by looking at her. He wasn't sure why he was so mad at her, it wasn't even her fault that he was yelled at. She probably saved him by forcing him to leave, but she shouldn't have assumed he couldn't take those men. However she was injured so she would be not much help. No, she could have trusted him! He could protect her! Beast Boy could feel his mind racing.

Raven took in a deep breath, as if to calm herself. "I came to make sure you were okay. I came here to see if-" She started but he cut her off.

"Don't lie to me. I know how you are, you came to tell me one of your 'I told you so' speeches. Well go ahead let me hear it!" He practically yelled at her. His voice was raised with out his knowledge, startling him a bit.

She was quiet for a moment, Beast Boy couldn't put his finger on the emotion that flashed across her face, it was too quick. For a moment it looked like pain. Maybe she wasn't here to fight, maybe she was here to see if he was okay. No. No, that was not like her. Raven wouldn't do that, he knew how she was, he knew her too well. He balled his hands in to fists, his knuckles were undoubtedly white. He felt his anger rise again at her silence, although he was still unsure why.

She responded almost in a whisper, "Okay fine, what you did tonight was stupid. But I did come here to help, to see if you were hurt."

If looks could kill, Raven would have been dead in an instant. "Save the act Raven. Everyone knows you only care about yourself." He spat the insult at her in a low growl. his voice almost sounded like a animal.

She stood up at that comment, he could tell she was getting fed up with his accusations. She was getting angry. "You know what fine! Stay here and pout. I was just trying to help." She walked towards the door to leave.

"No you weren't. Don't try to feed me that bull shit. You are the most selfish of us all, you don't care about me. You don't care about any of us." Beast Boy could not believe what he just said. He knew he didn't mean those words, she did care. She cared a lot about her team, and he knew it. He wanted to take them back, he wanted to apologize but he didn't. It was as if someone was controlling his body, forcing him to fight.

Raven stopped just short of the door. She paused before she turned to face him, her face was plagued with emotion. "You know that isn't true! I wouldn't be here if I didn't-" Once again he was cut off by his rude words.

"Yes it is true. You get some kind of sick pleasure out of other peoples pain! You feed off of it, like some kind of creep." No, no, no. He didn't want to say that. He was having some sort of out of body experience, like he was watching himself fight but had no control over what he was saying. This wasn't him, he would never say those things to her. He wanted to stop, but something was pushing him forward.

"Don't call me that. How dare you!"

*****

"Don't call me that. How dare you!" Raven could not believe this, she came here to help him to to be yelled at. She wanted to turn and leave, but her feet wouldn't respond to her brain. She knew she needed to stay, she could feel waves of anger rush off of Beast Boy. She sensed something off with him, like this wasn't himself, like he was being controlled. She looked into his lifeless eyes and only saw darkness, as if the pupal had expanded and over took the whole eye. His eyes were not his.

Then it hit her, in the animal kingdom when prey would be backed into a corner their primal senses would come forth to protect them. They would become more fierce than normal, and would attack teeth bared at the next thing that walked by. This must be Beast Boys primal human self, his urges have taken over him. He must have been taken over during the argument with Robin, it must have triggered something primal in his brain. He wasn't in control. He wasn't Beast Boy anymore.

"Oh I'm sorry did that hurt? The truth hurts." Raven was silent, feeding the beast was pointless. So she just stood there ready for his harsh words. She attempted to make her face completely unreadable. A cup that was at the edge of Beast Boy's desk was engulfed in dark energy and exploded. Beast Boy chuckled.

"Don't you see it? You don't fit in here! You are so dark, while the rest of us are light. You can't even show emotion! You don't belong here. Why don't you just leave!" She flinched at his words. Her heart was beating faster now, her hands began to shake. The light bulb above her exploded, giving away her emotions once again. Beast Boy's grin grew, he understood what was happening. She couldn't mask her emotions, she wanted to yell at him, but knew that doing so would only make things worse.

These words hurt twice as bad because they were coming from Beast Boy. Her fun-loving, happy, always eager to tell her a lame joke friend. In the past few months she may have even admitted to herself that something special was growing between them, but all those hopes were shattered right here. She tried to remind her self that this wasn't Beast Boy, but her emotions were overtaking her. She could feel tears forming.

He took a step forward and continued his torment, "No one wants you here. It's not like anyone would miss you if you left." Raven felt a few tears flow down her face, she wiped them off quickly hoping that he wouldn't notice in the dark. But he did. Then he said it, the word that would hurt her more than the knife did in the alley, more than any punch to the gut she had ever experienced. He said it just above a whisper, just loud enough that the two of them could hear it. "Freak."

The word hung in the air like venom. Beast Boy just stood there looking in to her face, his black eyes piercing into her soul. Raven was unable to mask her reaction to the word and tears were now flowing freely on her face. Cyborg had taken her cape in the common room, so she was unable to hide her face from him, she was unable to prevent him from seeing her tears.  

Something must have clicked in Beast Boy's head because he closed his eyes and turned away from her. He then clutched his head and groaned, Raven took a few steps back but was met with Beast Boys door. She felt as if she was backed in to a corner, so she slid down to the door and sat on the floor. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, tears were still falling from her eyes.

Beast Boy turned and faced her, Raven could make out his green eyes even in the darkness, it was him. He was back. She began to feel different emotions from coming from him now. He was now sending her regret, confusion and pure sadness. He took a step forward as if to say something but stopped as if at a lost for words. A silence hung between them for awhile.

"Rae...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-that wasn't-" He started but once again stopped. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. He took a few steps back and sat on the bottom bunk of the bed, he was avoiding eye contact with her.

*****

He had done this. He made her cry, how was he even suppose to explain that it wasn't him saying those words. There is no way she would believe him, there is no way she would understand. He looked in to her face, her sad face. He had only seen Raven cry once, and that was at the end of the world. Was this as bad as the end of the world to her? Did he hurt her that bad?

Beast Boy sighed, "What have I done?" He whispered as he buried his face in his hands.

Raven then stood up, he noticed the change in her position and looked at her once again. "You didn't do anything Beast Boy. I know that wasn't you." She sniffled, and whipped tears from her face.  

"Then who was it?" He asked in a small voice. He wondered how she knew, but decided not to ask, Raven had a way of knowing people. Even if they didn't want her to.  

"I-I don't know. I think it was a primal form of yourself. The fight with Robin send you over edge and I just walked right in to it..." She trailed off, looking away from him.

There was another silence between them. The he said "I didn't mean what was said you know? I would never say those things to you. Ever." He meant it, he could only hope Raven could feel the truthfulness in his words.

Raven began to rub her arm in awkwardness. "Yeah, whatever." she muttered.

He stood up and walked towards her, "No, not whatever. I know what I said hurt you. None of that was true." He pleaded with her. He needed her to understand, he needed her to know what he said wasn't how he felt.

"That thing was a form of you Beast Boy. Everything you said, it had to come from somewhere." She turned so that he back was towards him. He took a step closer.

"No, Raven I don't feel that way. Please, you have to believe me." He attempted to touch her shoulder but she moved away from his touch. A ping of guilt hit his heart, he dropped his hand and whispered "Please Rae."

She turned to face him, all emotion was whipped away from her face. "It's fine Beast Boy I believe you." He could not tell if she meant it or not. "Lets just try to forget that this ever happened okay?" He nodded slowly, not knowing how to respond. "Okay good. I'm going to go to bed now. I suggest you do the same. Robin will want to debrief us in the morning." And just like that she walked through his door. She was gone, off to sleep off the night. Off to do what she does most, pretend that nothing happened.

Beast Boy walked back to his bead and climbed to the top bunk. He curled up into a small ball and tried to shut his eyes. He did not know what that other person was, but whoever he was, he would never allow him to escape again. He would never risk hurting her like that again, he couldn't loose her over something so stupid. He needed her.

And with that Beast Boy fell asleep.